January 2009
83 posts
“Why are they called fingers? I’ve never seen them fing!”
ah bah baaaaah….. bah bah baaaaaaahhhh….. bah bah baaaahhhhhh….. biddliddlidilldlleeee bah…. pshhhhhh. bah bah baaaaah….. bah bah baaaaaaahhhh….. bah bah baaaahhhhhh….. biddliddlidilldlleeee bah…. pshhhhhh. the theme from the scene in rocky when everyone is laughing at rocky because his pants fell down while he was running and his penis fell out.
Donny Darko
DOODAH DOODAH DOODAH DOOBEE, DOODAH DOODAH DOODAH DOOBEE, DOODAH DOODAH DOODAH DOOBEE, DOODAH DOOBEE BAH DOO BAW BAH, CLISH, CLISH, CLISH, DOOOOOOOOOO, DOODAH DOODAH DOODAH DOOBEE, DOODAH DOODAH DOODAH DOOBEE, DOODAH DOODAH DOODAH DOOBEE, DOODAH DOOBEE BAH DOO BAW BAH, CLISH, CLISH, CLISH, DOOOOOOOOOO, DUM, DYUM, DUM, DYUM. The theme from the scene in donnie darko when jake gylenhall and maggie...
“Much like a page of LSD tabs you mistook for a sheet of lasagne and cooked and...”
“You know those people that say ‘I was cool, before cool was cool?’
I actually...”
Saving $$$
1 Milk. Do you idly throw it away after a few weeks in the understanding that it has “gone bad”? Then you know nothing of science. If your milk has lumps in it — that’s yoghurt. If your milk has solidified completely — that’s Frûche. 2 These days, fashion favours the spendthrift. The “it” look is Chav, which is ideal. In attempting to realise Chav, you must...
“I really love craft, I love the chicks on Speed anarchy of it: “fuck art,...”
If You Want To Complain...Well Im Not The...
Coffe Addictions: You don’t have a caffeine addiction. You want to be perceived as having a caffeine addiction (or any addiction) because you’re an attention whore. Caffiene is an extremely mild stimulant. You don’t have an addiction to it any more than you have an addiction to beans. “Ooh, I so need beans! Where is my bean-fix? I really need to ram beans into my...
DEGRASSI
——-TODAYS EPISODE—— Spinner has joined the school’s Christian group, “Friendship Club”. The club’s leader, Linus, has made Spinner come to a protest against Marco’s safe sex seminar. (Note: Marco is one of Spinner’s only remaining friends.) Marco: Stop! Look, just leave us alone. Go home, go to church, do whatever. Linus: Why don’t...
Me: What The Fuck Is Bronzing Up?
George: What it is, it's like a prison thing. And when the prisoners want to go 'woohoo!' they bronze up.
Me: That sounds nice.
George: Oh, it's not nice. Not in any way.
Me: Do tell.
George: So they want to run around the prison going 'woohoo' and they don't want the screws to touch them, right? So they smear themselves in poo. All over their body. Until they're, you know, nice and bronzed.
Me: .......
George: And then they can run around going 'woohoo!' and the warden won't come near them.
Me: Woohoo as in 'yay' or woohoo as in 'riot in cell block 11'?
George: Not sure. Both I think,
Me: Oh my god.
Me: Why do you tell me these things?
George: I like to share.
“FUCKING DIE DIE DIE YOU COCKSUCKING SON OF SATAN I HOPE YOUR STUDDED WRISTBANDS...”
Sexy George
me: Shit-fuck! Time to move to Fiji.'
george: 'I want to fucking kill that cock smoking cunt loser bitch face. And everyone who likes her.'
me: 'Cuntox.'
george: 'I'm sorry, I can't reply to your message. I killed myself already.'
me: 'I know. Holy hell.'
george: 'Oh god.'
me: 'It's like some bad dream, I need a drink.'
George: 'Tell me something to stop the pain. Please.'
me: 'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.'
George: 'I don't understand. How?'
me: 'Fuck this shit.'
“I just Put A waistcoat on my fucking dog. Jesus fucking christ.
I will now take...”
Fuckster
I’ve come up with something I don’t like, really don’t like, and have no problem with not liking. This: Look, I’m all for lameness. Always up for a bit of joke-that’s-gone-on-for-so-long-its-amusing, that’s me. But these guys are a fucking epidemic. They aren’t novelty, they aren’t clever, they aren’t talented, they aren’t attractive,...